A week in politics

But the single best quote I’ve ever seen about elections or voting was daubed on a wall somewhere in Australia as part of the anti-vote protest. It said: ‘It doesn’t matter who you vote for, a politician always gets in.’

After writing about bad or particularly stupid quotes last week, it seems appropriate to give credit where it’s due. And that one, future voters of the 2008 elections, is a gem of wisdom. But it’s not very helpful, and it’s not really all that positive in assisting you at the polling station.

The following theory, however, might help: ‘Any statement made by a candidate, the opposite of which could not be argued, is meaningless and an attempt to distract voters.’

That takes a bit of unravelling, but basically it boils down to this: there’s no point in saying anything which no one could argue with.

Sound obvious?

Then I suggest that you stay on the lookout for the following campaign statements which I guarantee that you will hear or read over the following months:

• I support the honorary system.

• We need a strong economy.

• States spending should be pinned at a responsible level.

• The finance industry must be supported.

• I shall be your voice in the States.

• We must restore trust in our politicians.

• Taxation should be fair.

Sound familiar?

Can you imagine a candidate saying he doesn’t like the honorary system, that the economy should be weaker, that States spending should be irresponsible, that the finance industry should be kicked into touch, that he will ignore you once in office, that the public shouldn’t trust States Members (himself included), and that tax should be distributed unfairly?

Of course not.

The stuff you really want to look out for are the new ideas.

They were in short supply in 2005. The only ones that leap to mind are Stuart Syv-ret’s proposals for an art/literature festival, Freddie Cohen’s idea for a new independent audit office, Terry Le Main’s plan to sell off States flats in a shared equity scheme, or Jim Perchard’s scheme to give businesses incentives for training students who want to leave school at 16.

I dare say, though, that most of what you hear from candidates will fit into the ‘less than entirely meaningful’ category.

The standout piece of work on this was carried out by Rolling Stone journalist Matt Taibbi on the 5,400-word speech given by John Kerry on the occasion of his nomination as Democratic candidate for the 2004 US election.

Taibbi cut out from the speech any nonsense — he actually used a different word, but I’m not the Chief Minister of Guernsey, so we’ll keep it clean — that was either an outright lie, meaningless statement, fake piety or transparent self-aggrandisement.

And of those 5,400 words spoken by Kerry that night, the following was left: ‘I was born in Colorado. Am-erica can do better.’

.IF you’re planning to stand for Deputy in St Brelade No 2, think twice before having a pop at Sean Power. I don’t mean ‘don’t stand’ — I just mean, you know, be careful what you say, go easy on eye contact and don’t make any sudden movements.

Sure, he isn’t a former bodyguard/doorman like Deputy Paul Le Claire, and he was not in the RAF like Deputy Collin Egré.

But the boy Power is, in my opinion, the Hardest Man in the States.

During a trip to the USA last week, he was unloading boxes at a warehouse when the floorboards broke beneath him.

He plunged through the floor, hit the deck a storey below and broke his right leg (the tip of the fibula, or lateral malleolus for experts).

Did he cry? Did he call out for help?

Did he dial for an ambulance?

No.

He picked himself up, dusted himself off, and then went back upstairs and carried on unloading the remaining four boxes.

Then he drove down to Wal-Mart, bought four Ibuprofen tablets and swallowed them.

Then he drove away from the warehouse in north Maryland to the Baltimore docks — if this is sounding like an episode from season two of ‘The Wire’, I’m right there with you — and then he drove back.

Then he flew home, via Heathrow. And then, only then, did he go to hospital.

What a legend.