Jersey-born comedy hip-hop duo The Candyapples – aka Chris Bell and Christian Jegard – will be returning to the Island next weekend for one of a number of one-off reunion gigs. They spoke to TOM OGG about what Islanders can expect from The Candyapples’ Christmas Thing, why Breathe by the Prodigy is a Christmas song – and gibbons
COMEDY fruit-shaped headgear at the ready – Jersey’s premier old-school hip-hop group are returning to the Blue Note Bar.
Held on Sunday 21 December, the “special Christmas-themed one-off reunion gig” will see The Candyapples – Chris Bell and Christian Jegard – supported by local psych-pop musician Johnny Moth. It will mark the first live performance by the Jersey-born duo in the Island since their last one-off reunion gig in the summer of 2024.
“The one-off reunion gig last year totally sold out,” says Chris Bell (Midnight Expresso, ANNA III), aka MC Ludacrismas, aka Billy Voltage.
“This will be the last chance for Islanders to see us until our next one-off reunion gig.”
“We’ve got several one-off reunion gigs booked in Brighton in the spring,” adds Christian Jegard (BBC New Comedy Awards, The Valentines), aka MC Jeggnog, aka J-rock.
Ahead of their latest one-off gig, the pair discuss their favourite Christmas songs, favourite Christmas TV specials and Sir Paul MC Cartney…
Hi both. What can Islanders expect from The Candyapples’ Christmas Thing?
Jeggnog: “If you’re thinking you’re getting anything other than big beats, fresh rhymes and old-school hip hop, you be straight trippin’, son. If you were born in the ‘70s or ‘80s, and if you like silliness and party bangers, then this is the show for you.
“Plus, it’s on at 5pm – we’ll be done by eight! So by 11pm all the 40-year-olds and 50-year-olds will be snug in their beds, with visions of ‘not having had children’ dancing in their heads.”
Ludacrismas: “Well, anyone who came to our comeback show last summer will know that we’ve got slick rhymes and killer beats. For those that haven’t seen or heard us, it’s basically ‘80s/’90s-inspired tag team hip-hop – think Beastie Boys, Run DMC, De La Soul, that sort of thing. But super daft. Loads of samples you’ll recognise, and more niche Jersey references than is typical in hip-hop. There will be goodwill but bad language, just two cool dudes going hell for leather with massive apples for heads.
“Plus, Johnny Moth is going to be performing his twisted psychedelic pop crooner act which we deeply and greatly admire.”
Any surprises in store for attendees?
Jeggnog: “Yeah, but why would I spoil it by telling you bunch of commies what they were? Then it wouldn’t be a surprise. No alarms and no surprises. PLEASE.”
Ludacrismas: “It’s going to have a nice festive twist – but I suppose that’s not really a surprise. We’ve got a couple of new Christmas bangers, which I’m hopeful will both achieve ‘Christmas number one’ status eventually. I’ve also been working on a beatbox-bit inspired by Wonderful Christmastime by Sir Paul MC Cartney. In between the live music, there’ll be festive tunes aplenty – a few of the classics, but also a bunch of Yuletide deep cuts. We’ve found some right weird festive bangers spanning hip-hop, rockabilly, doo-wop, ‘90s R&B and ‘80s metal. So we’ll drop a few weird ones in there to keep things interesting.”
What are your favourite Christmas traditions?
Jeggnog: “My fave Christmas tradition in our family is getting up at the crack of dawn and scanning the horizon for enemy patrols. Then we do presents and watch a film, usually A Muppet Christmas Carol. Then we set the traps and rig the charges, then we do traditional Christmas dinner. Then we have a nice glass of port and sherry, followed by Only Fools & Horses and then, at 9pm, we synchronise watches and prepare for night manoeuvres – then finally we attack in classic bullhorn formation, which cuts off any retreat or flanking support and destroys their attacking position. Then a Terry’s Chocolate Orange, then bed.”
Ludacrismas: “Getting presents is probably the best one, followed closely by starting on the booze at 10am. Jeggnog and I like to meet up and have a battle rap after we’ve exchanged gifts. Last year he got me a voucher that allowed me to rename a constellation. Now, whenever I look up at the Busta Rhymes 5209B star system, it makes me feel all Christmassey.”
What’s your favourite TV Christmas special?
Jeggnog: “The Christmas episode of the long-running British sitcom Bob’s Your Uncle is so good. It’s just such a heartwarming episode. What happens is Uncle Bob and Aunt Fanny wisely buy tickets to a Christmas-themed old-school one-off hip-hop gig and it ends up transforming their lives – for what was, quite frankly, a ridiculously reasonable ticket price. It was too low if anything.”
Ludacrismas: “I really enjoyed the 2006 Panorama Christmas special actually. Initially I wasn’t sure an exposé on the use of performance-enhancing drugs in the British darts community was the ideal post-Christmas lunch viewing but, I’ll tell you what, it was a real eye-opener. Cheats never win, kids. ESPECIALLY at Christmas.”
What are your top five Christmas tunes?
Ludacrismas:
“1. Run DMC – Christmas in Hollis. The pinnacle of Christmas hip-hop craftsmanship.
2. Kurtis Blow – Christmas Rappin’. The man is a legend, the first rapper to sign with a major label, and this was the single that kicked the doors open for him.
3. Jerry Goldsmith – Theme from Gremlins. It’s bonkers, creepy and mischievous. Like a gremlin.
4. The Sonics – Santa Claus. Sounds like all the other Sonics songs – Have Love, Will Travel, Strychnine, etc. – but switches in lyrics about Santa.
5. David Essex – A Winter’s Tale. A heartbreaker.”
Jeggnog:
“1. Slade – Merry Christmas Everybody. I’ve only ever heard this once but I remember it being brilliant. If you can dig it out, get on it. It’s a banger.
2. Darlene Love – Christmas (Baby Please Come Home). A perennial holiday classic. I don’t know whether the third verse about the Vietcong is strictly necessary, but otherwise it’s a cosy Christmas gem.
3. The Prodigy – Breathe. Some people argue that this isn’t a Christmas song. It’s the Die Hard debate all over again. Obviously it’s a Christmas song. Why else would it feature Noddy Holder during the bridge?
4. iPhone 9 – Classic Ringtone. The iPhone 9 ringtone – the one that goes bing-bada-ding ding, bing bing bong. While not exactly a Christmas song, it never fails to put me in the festive mood.
5. Status Quo – In The Army Now. Easily the best festive song about waking up on Christmas morning shocked to find yourself having enlisted in the Armed Forces.”
Do you have any New Year’s Resolutions for 2026?
Jeggnog: “I’d love to swim with gibbons. I’ve done dolphins – boring. I bet swimming with gibbons would be a right laugh.”
Ludacrismas: “To build a Candyapples float and get it into the Battle of Flowers. Stick a big sound system on there. It would have the Esplanade’s dopest soundtrack.”
If you had one Christmas wish, what would it be?
Jeggnog: “Gibbon swim.”
Ludacrismas: “Probably to have the ability to fly or see through walls or world peace. Oh, I can only pick one? Okay, flying.”
The Candyapples’ Christmas Thing! will be performed at the Blue Note Bar on Sunday 21 December at 5pm, with support from Johnny Moth. Tickets are £6 in advance – £8 on the door – and can be prebooked from Ticket Tailor.
‘It’s just two cool dudes going hell for leather with massive apples for heads’
