By Stephen Le Quesne
THE date is Wednesday 26 February 2020 and I am sitting in my van, nervous, anxious and looking at the church hall I am supposed to walk into. The sky is a little cloudy, with a slight chill in the air as winter still holds its grip. I have no idea that in a month’s time, Covid would be taking over our daily lives, but for now, I am focused purely on attending my first private counselling session.
I had been bouncing in and out of the public mental-health services for over ten years, not quite finding the right therapy, or starting new positive paths, which were then stopped abruptly after my time had finished.
I knew something was different about me. I had recognised that I had trauma deep inside of me, but I did not know what it was, where it entered my life, but I was so desperate to understand, to heal, to find some new light in the darkness.
I plucked up the courage to walk into the door, up the stairs and knock gently. Every footstep was filled with anxiety, but I knew I needed to do this. My therapist opened the door with a gentle smile, and I slowly walked in, taking a seat on the couch, breathing my anxiety in and out.
Over the next few weeks, months and years, I explored all aspects of my life, some sad, some happy. I explored my negative behavioural patterns, my historical trauma, the toxic connections. I cried, I laughed, I smiled, I hurt, but it has been transformative, and I am not the same person now as I was then. Self-discovery, wanting to heal your scars is incredibly difficult, but brings new life into an individual.
I still attend therapy sessions once every couple of months or so, just as a check-in, to see how I am doing or to process something that has popped into my head. It will forever be in my life, and I am incredibly grateful for that. I am grateful for the help and kindness that was afforded to me. My previous session a couple of weeks ago was a bit of an event as I stopped my therapist in her tracks, I almost made her cry as I spoke my truth, my healed perspectives and my thoughts on providing closure on the toxic connection that was the epicentre of my trauma.
Why am I opening about my personal journey? Because I firmly believe that everyone should have the opportunity to improve their lives, build themselves up and follow what they believe is best for them and the people they care about. We need to help each other, not tear each other down.
This may be a bit of a tenuous link, but I hope it connects, as I have reached a red line with government cuts. It is now impacting our daily lives, not just for you and me, but for the wider environment and the animals and plants that live on the Island as well as the businesses and individuals who depend on the countryside to earn a living.
If the Environment Minister comes out to say that the department is going to face “significant challenges” due to budget cuts, then that is a red flag for me. As Deputy Hilary Jeune has said “…these cuts have the potential to hit the competitiveness of our economy, livelihoods and essential regulatory work”. She is correct.
I am not going to complain or moan any more about the cuts; I am going to explore what I see as a potential solution for the long term.
There is no doubt that the lack of funds within government is a pressing issue and needs long-term solutions, especially as climate breakdown is going to make life more expensive, and we cannot avoid that any more. It is inevitable.
Our tax and social security rules need to be looked at and evolved – not for the poorest, or middle-earners, but for the high-earners, the rich, the super-rich. I am not against people who earn a lot of money, nor businesses, but changes are essential. Jersey’s government needs more income for the challenges ahead, pure and simple. If we have a certain individual becoming a trillionaire in the US, then that tells me that the global economic and social system needs fixing, maybe even ripping apart, rebuilt and healed back together.
And with the environment? I have mentioned this before, but we need a Minister for Farming or a Minister for Farming and the Environment, to set it apart from Infrastructure. We are setting ourselves up for a fall if we do not prepare now for the climate, farming and environmental challenges ahead.
I have been lucky enough to go on a personal journey to heal the trauma and scars that I carried for so many years, a path that took many years to walk along. We need to take the lessons I have learned into how we govern, plan and provide opportunities for everyone in Jersey, solutions that are different to cutting government departments to the bare bone. I aspire for and want more than that – and I hope you do too.
Stephen Le Quesne is a naturalist and outdoor learning instructor.
