WELL done, you made it through the heatwave and the weekend is upon us.
And here are the ten things we have learnt this week.
1. If you are taken to an employment tribunal, just smile and be nice
It’s good to talk (33848698)
When company officials find themselves in an employment tribunal, they normally argue their case while maintaining a calm air of professionalism. Not so Janette Roberton, representing Many Hands Limited, who threatened to kill a former employee while the case was being heard. ‘If I see Maria, I will kill her’, Ms Roberton said during a telephone hearing, before using what the chairperson described as offensive language and then disconnecting the call.
2. Three hero firefighters received special awards
The daring trio: Firefighters Jack Luce, Andy Le Marquand and crew commander Simon Le Maistre
You know that warm and beautifully flat calm sea we’ve been enjoying this week? Well sometimes it doesn’t look like that. Sometimes it looks like this…
The trio and an angry sea (33806443)
And back in May three firefighters performed a truly heroic rescue when a couple of French tourists got trapped in a cave at Plémont as the tide came in. The trio – crew commander Simon Le Maistre and firefighters Andy Le Marquand and Jack Luce – have now received Chief Officer’s Commendations. Well done, chaps.
3. We could get more ‘affordable’ homes (whatever that means)
There are some affordable homes in there somewhere Picture: JERSEY DEVELOPMENT COMPANY
The number of ‘affordable’ homes in the planned new Waterfront development could be increased, according to the Jersey Development Company. Thanks to a proposition last year by Deputy Sam Mézec, at least 15% of the properties will have to be classed as ‘affordable’. But the JDC this week said that the figure could increase. But one man’s ‘affordable’ is another man’s ‘I’ll have to sell my kidneys to afford this’.
4. At least the seatbelts still worked…
Not the actual car (but probably not far off) (33839003)
A motorist received a hefty fine – and a telling off from the judge – after being caught driving a car which had very much seen better days. Alistair Hay (59) was seen driving out of St Brelade’s Parish Hall car park in a vehicle which had defective tyres, brakes, steering, horn and windscreen wipers. And he only had a provisional licence… which expired in 2018. Hay was fined £3,700 by a judge who called him ‘foolish in the extreme’.
5. But it wasn’t the worst crime committed in the Channel Islands recently…
Richard Le Conte (33839012)
A Guernseyman was jailed for burgling his neighbour’s flat – less than 48 hours after he died. Richard Le Conte stole cash, a slingshot with a laser torch, a bottle of wine and a bag of ball bearings. The sentencing judge summed it up nicely, when he told Le Conte: ‘You really can’t get any lower than stealing from the dead.’
6. Iceland was attacked
Fish fingers, cheap beans, Pot Noodles and massive multi-bags of Monster Munch – a burglar’s dream (33839036)
A burglar used a bollard to smash the window of the Iceland store at Les Quennevais before making off with goods. And the whole Island was left thinking the same thing. Iceland..? Really..? Waitrose we could understand. Perhaps even M&S. But Iceland..?
7. The party won’t stop
No leader, no elected members… but still going strong(33839048)
Jersey Alliance’s Sir Mark Boleat said the party had no plans to fold, despite losing its only elected member (Trinity Constable Philip Le Sueur). Sir Mark also confirmed that his role as party leader ceased to exist after the election. So Jersey Alliance has no leader and no elected politicians. But it’s still a party. We all thought that Jersey’s fledgling party political scene would evolve, but not quite like this…
8. Single-use plastic bags are banned
Hang on, what’s that? Call the police! Call the police! (33848670)
Let’s be honest, you’ve got a big stash of carrier bags at home… which you always forget to take to the shop and so you end up having to buy another one which you inevitably add to your collection which is now so big you are considering giving it the spare room. Well this must stop, as single-use plastic bags are now banned. Shops can’t give them out any more, and instead will have to charge you 70p for a reusable one.
9. We will be testing some drones
Forget what we said in April, it’s no joke (33848638)
On April Fool’s Day the JEP ran a story about Jersey being used as a testbed to trial a Jersey Royal drone-delivery service called the Royal Air Force. Well, it turns out it’s actually true. Not the bit about the Royals, or the service being called the RAF, but the Island will indeed be trialling new technology in 2024 to test the feasibility of delivering medical supplies and commercial products by drone. Perhaps our article brought this to fruition… Next April Fool’s Day, we’ll be writing a story about the Island getting a new hospital.
10. On Tuesday, the whole Island was grumpy
When you wake up after a cool, refreshing night’s sleep… and discover that all the food in your fridge has now gone off (33838855)
No wet flannel, no cold shower, no number of ice cubes on the forehead and no electric fan could make the awful sweatfest that was Monday night bearable. A heatwave stops being fun when the temperature refuses to drop below 27°C during the small hours. Mercifully it cooled off a bit the following day – but it’s going to get hot again at the weekend. Might be best just to sleep outside.
