WE are getting a Royal visit, the government is richer than you thought (but probably isn’t spending much on you) and an exciting new trial is about to begin…
The ten things we learnt this week are:
1. Covid cases are dropping (or are we just not really bothering to test?)
The number of known active cases mysteriously began to plummet at the start of this week. It could be because Omicron is running out of steam. Or could it just be that some of us are planning to go away at Easter and have somehow, completely and utterly by accident, mislaid that box of lateral-flow tests.
2. A cruise ship paid a visit
If there is one thing that cruise-ship passengers have (apart from possibly Covid and/or norovirus), it’s money. So Jersey’s shops, bars and restaurants were very happy to welcome the dozens of people who stepped off MS Hamburg this week when it anchored in St Aubin’s Bay.
3. We’re getting Royal visitors
Ok, it’s not the Queen. And it’s not William and Kate. Or Charles and Camilla. But let’s look at it like this – at least they’re not sending Andrew. The Earl and Countess of Wessex are set to visit on Liberation Day. The Countess last visited for Liberation 70, when she sat and watched as the Jersey flag was hoisted – upside down.
4. The government is richer than you thought
Despite forecasts of an income deficit, the government actually ended up with a £59 million surplus in 2021. When asked whether some of it could be used to help Islanders struggling with the cost of living, the Treasury Minister said it would instead be used to pay off the borrowing for the new hospital. A civil servant, meanwhile, pointed out that the government had recently pledged to give the poorest Islanders an extra £20 a month. Don’t spend it all at once.
5. Prisoners could be asked to help demolish some cell blocks at HMP La Moye….
No, not like they did at Strangeways in 1990. This will be supervised. And legal. In short, some old redundant blocks are going to be pulled down and it is hoped that some inmates will be asked to help as part of their rehabilitation.
6. The birds at the Ecréhous reef will be getting some peace and quiet
Boats will be banned from travelling at more than five knots, dogs will be prohibited from going ashore and loud music will be outlawed during certain times of the year in an effort to help nesting birds. Which would make sense. Except one of the bird species is the oyster catcher – the noisiest sea bird of all. Try kayaking along the coast with an oyster catcher screeching in your ear. It ain’t pleasant. One rule for one, one rule for another.
7. Campervan trial is set to begin (but let’s not get carried away)
Three years after the government vowed to find new sites for campervans following the hoo-ha at Le Port in St Ouen’s Bay, they have finally come up with a suitable trial location… Le Port. But apparently only four spaces have been marked out. And they need to be booked in advance. But no one has been told how to do this. Or if they will be charged. Or how long they can stay for. But otherwise, the trial is crystal clear.
8. It’s probably best to keep those doors locked
On account of the fact that it’s no longer the 1950s, we are being reminded not to leave our car doors unlocked. Sadly, some Island residents really like to steal things from cars. And they really appreciate it when you leave the doors unlocked – and are exceptionally grateful when you stash the keys behind the sun visor, as it means they can take the car for a little spin after stripping it of its valuables. The States police this week launched a campaign asking people to make life a little harder for our ne’er-do-wells.
9. Moulting seals like a bit of privacy
If you tried to get naked on the beach, you’d end up with a trip to the Magistrate’s Court and a few column inches in the mailonline. But when a seal tries it, he gets given the beach all to himself. This week a big adult grey seal dragged himself onto the sand at Grève de Lecq for a spot of moulting, and the beach was closed to spare his blushes (and for his safety and that of inquisitive seal spotters).
10. Sir John Major doesn’t just eat peas
Anyone who watched Spitting Image in the 1990s may just remember that grey-faced politician sitting in silence, opposite his wife, tucking into a plate of peas. In real life he actually enjoys a good curry. This week former Prime Minister Sir John Major popped into Noya Shapla in town for a prawn kofta and lamb bhuna.
… and here he is…
but he would have preferred peas…
