IT began with a faint buzz. Nothing more than a quiet, monotonous hum, barely audible over the persistent patter of keyboards and relentless ringing of newsdesk phones.
But this was no ordinary buzz. This was no wasp, no bee and certainly no hornet. This was the wing-chatter of a familiar insect friend. A dirt-loving insect friend who feeds off the sort of thing most mentally stable beings do their best to avoid: politics.
And so it was that Fly – charged up on sweeteners (Mrs Fly has put him on a diet) and refreshed after a two-week holiday at the Guernsey landfill – crash-landed into the newsroom and announced his return to the JEP Election Team.
Things back at Chez Fly have also improved since the Senatorial elections. But Mrs Fly is to make no more unannounced trips to ‘the bingo’, and there is to be no more talk of ‘dashing Deputy’ Alan Maclean. And with his mind at ease, Fly spent yesterday afternoon examining the runners fighting for the 25 available seats.
He is pleased to see the return of ten failed Senatorial candidates, including Jolly Green Giant Daniel Wimberley, his running mate Burgundy Jumper, and fellow Green Nick Palmer, although Fly has spotted a change in the latter’s appearance (we’ll return to this at a later date).
Fly is also particularly looking forward to the St Saviour No 1 hustings, not because of any over-riding interest in any of the candidates, but for the usual entertainment and non-stop chatter supplied by young Jeremy Maçon’s campaign team.
Fly is also hoping for some excellent banter from the hustings in St Helier No 3 district (mainly from fired-up Transport Minister Guy de Faye) and in the JDA battleground of St Helier No 2.
And then there are the newcomers – including former Channel 103 presenter Katy Ringsdore, psychiatrist Gil Blackwood and young Tracey Vallois – all of whom could spring some surprises.
But our dirt-loving winged election spy does have a message before he signs off – a message to all those who think they are good enough to be a Deputy in this Island. It’s something he gave a great deal of thought to during romantic hovers over the stinking, filthy Guernsey landfill with Mrs Fly.
Candidates – over the next two weeks, keep it clean.
• Picture: Fly makes a few notes before the first hustings
