Jersey news: 10 things we learnt this week

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Duels, drugs and giant puffins. It has been a busy week of news.

Here are the ten things we learnt this week.

1. If you get involved in drugs, don’t draw attention to yourself

Samuel Davies Picture: STATES OF JERSEY POLICE (33335439)

Samuel Shea Davies kicked up such a fuss when someone got hold of his rucksack that the police were called. Which is understandable, except for the fact that inside the bag was more than £20,000 in cash and a set of weighing scales containing a ‘powdery residue’ that you definitely couldn’t make a cake with. He also had £400 stuffed down a sock. Following a search of his home, officers found he also had an impressive collection of drugs. He was jailed for two years.

2. We love the giant puffins

Picture: SIMON MILDREN (33335716)

The National Trust for Jersey’s giant puffin sculptures at Plémont have proved so popular they have caused traffic problems. But while they are a wonderful sight for the Island’s human population, they must be utterly terrifying for the actual, normal-sized puffins who presumably now think their breeding grounds have been taken over by giants.

3. Dogs have nine lives too (or at least two)

Paul Holt with his dog Jessie, a Jack Russell Picture: ROB CURRIE (33247279)

Jessie the Jack Russell touched the hearts of Islanders back in 2018 when she beat cancer thanks to a pioneering new drug. And she has survived a second bout in recent weeks and is now on the mend. Jessie is now 11, or approaching her 80th birthday in dog years, and her owners are hoping she won’t be using up more lives any time soon.

4. The election is pretty much under way

This is where some of us go to vote (33335829)

The election may not have properly started yet but if you are fortunate/unfortunate enough to run into a candidate, they will definitely start talking you through their manifestos. This week, the runners and riders of the June 2022 general election began handing in their nomination forms. The final field will be announced on Wednesday.

5. And unopposed election candidates will be a thing of the past

The seat’s empty, because that’s what the people wanted (33341302)

While Senators and Deputies have previously gone to the trouble of contesting an election, Constables have always done things differently: Constable retires. Someone comes forward. No one else comes forward. Sole candidate is elected without a vote. New Constable eventually becomes old Constable and retires, and the whole process starts again. But this time, sole candidates will face that much-feared other candidate: ‘None of the above’. Yep, if only one person comes forward, then the electorate will have the option of voting for the candidate or ‘none of the above’. And if ‘none of the above’ wins, there will be a new election. Just imagine sitting there on election night and realising that parishioners would rather the seat be empty than have you sitting in it. Just imagine.

6. And two knights will face a duel in St Clement


(Knight No.1, Mark Boleat)

But there won’t be a horse or a sword in sight. Just lots of knocking on doors. Sir Philip Bailhache, the leader of the Jersey Liberal Conservatives, this week announced that he will be standing in the same constituency (St Clement) as Sir Mark Boleat, the leader of Jersey Alliance.

(And here is Knight No.2, Philip Bailhache)


(and here is an actual knight)


(and Beverley Knight… ok, we’ll stop)


7. There will be no cut in fuel duty

Everyone’s favourite place to spend money (33341312)

More than 2,000 of us have signed a petition calling for a 2.5p per litre cut in fuel duty. But in a formal response this week, ministers said that they were ‘not convinced’ that it would help. But it would certainly ‘help’ when buying fuel. Which is something nearly every individual and business does. Just saying.

8. Lots of us have suddenly become really, really, really big cycling enthusiasts

Islanders queue to apply for the new cycling officer role (33341319)

In a few months’ time, if you work for the government and you find yourself wondering who the new guy is, and why he is dressed head-to-toe in lycra, then remember this little article. As he, or she, is the government’s new cycling officer. And he, or she, is getting paid £70,000 a year for it. The role was advertised this week and it’s likely that many of us have started tarting up that CV and suddenly re-kindled that love of cycling we had before we realised it was just easier to drive. The job is simple: Get people cycling more. (And don’t turn up on your first day at work in your car)

9. It’s Invasive Species Week

Japanese knotweed, what you get when you cross a bamboo with a Triffid (33341356)

And there is a series of events to help us better understand these non-native species. But the truth is, no matter how well you know them, you just can’t negotiate with a Japanese knotweed. You just need a can of petrol and a lighter. Or some strong weed killer. (Probably best to go with the latter)

10. Good news. Bad news.

Some sun, some rain (33341371)

Next week is going to be hot, with temperatures of up to 25°C, as a plume of warm air pushes up from the continent. But there will also be quite a bit of rain and probably some lightning too. But enjoy the sun when it shines.

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