COMMENT: Inhibitions go out of the window with parenthood

It dawned on me on Sunday as I shouted to a bloke sat by the beach that his bacon butty was ready. The woman from the food van had been looking around for him and I’d automatically got involved, much to my husband’s embarrassment.

The warning signs had been there, of course. There was the Turkish ice cream vendor on holiday who I went to find again just to let him know that his desserts had indeed been worth the expense, and the random bride in a hotel lift that I’d shared my secret top tip for going to the loo easily and simply in a wedding dress with when she hadn’t even asked.

But now there is no denying that, just like my dad, I will indeed talk to anyone, about pretty much anything, and often whether they like it or not.

Plus, I’ll continue to do it, perhaps without even realising it, no matter how many times my family roll their eyes or slink away in embarrassment.

It is since I’ve become a parent that I’ve discovered this new found confidence.

It’s a survival thing, you see. From those first days with a newborn when there’s every possibility you will need a stranger to hold/ carry/ watch something (usually property, sometimes a child), to the awkward phase when your child is still learning how to tell a man from a woman but at the same time enters that chatty stage where they commentate every single thought and feeling (think of statements like ‘man, beard, there, scary, mummy’ as he points to the woman at the next table), you quickly learn there’s no room for inhibitions.

You also discover that there really is no greater bond than parenthood, no matter your sex, race, age, background or beliefs.

Aside from the obvious, the confidence it can bring is one of the greatest gifts of becoming a parent.

But while that confidence develops over time, there is another survival thing that arrives instantaneously – parental instinct.

It is what wakes parents up in the middle of the night a second before the screaming starts, let’s you know that your little one is coming down with something or helps you differentiate between a moody teenager and one with more on their mind.

And it is that instinct, unique to all of us, that mean mums and dads are best placed to protect, guide, and care for their own children.

This past week the Education and Home Affairs Scrutiny Panel published its report into school starting age. It found that more needs to be done to make parents aware of the legislation surrounding when children have to start school, because some youngsters are being sent to school after only just turning four.

However, under Jersey law children do not have to start attending lessons at the beginning of the academic year they turn five but rather during the term in which they reach that age.

Within that range it is, the panel want people to know, totally up to parents when their child starts school.

The panel’s report led to all sorts of comment and debate, including one story that really hit home about a young child who, aged just four when she started school, still needed a nap during the day and a comforter with her.

There were those youngest in their year top of the class, those in the middle and those at the bottom. And it was the same with those oldest in their year too.

Because, just like us adults, every child is different.

While it is a shame that it has not in the past been communicated very well, it is refreshing that Jersey has a system able to flex to accommodate individual needs.

And it is important that parents, educators, and the general public are now aware of how the system works.

In addition, parents can and should have the confidence to stand up to what may be seen as accepted norms and do what they think is best for their child.

Because, just as mother nature helps to prepare us for parenthood with sleepless nights in pregnancy and the ‘nesting’ phase, and just as she gives us the instincts to know what is best, she also equips us with an inner strength and confidence to speak up on behalf of our little humans.

It also comes in handy to let random people know that their breakfast is ready, that Turkish ice cream really is a revelation or that the easiest way to go to the loo in a wedding dress is by straddling the toilet.