1) Jump Jersey
Ask any parent of young children what the most exhausting aspect of being a mum or dad is and they’ll almost certainly reply: ‘Running around after the little sods.’ This is why Jump Jersey is such a win-win venue. The soft play areas are – as the name suggests – soft, which means you can leave toddlers and younger children to entertain themselves without the worry of them accidentally clonking themselves over the head with any hard objects or inadvertently inserting anything pointy up their nose.
2) The Sheep Shed Jersey
Located on a family-run farm in the St Lawrence countryside, the Sheep Shed is a must-visit location for those with younger children, with a sizeable indoor play area featuring a bouncy castle, an actual climb-on-the-seat-and-pretend-you’re-driving-it tractor, arts and crafts and more toys than you can shake a newborn lamb at.
Booking is required: thesheepshedjersey@potagefarm.com
3) Jersey Zoo
Can’t visit Jersey Zoo because it’s raining? Don’t be daft. In fact, it is when the weather is lousy that visitors to the zoo will often find themselves getting even more up close and personal with the animals than usual.
When the heavens unexpectedly opened during a recent visit with my sons, Teddy and Alby, the three of us legged it into the indoor section of the gorilla enclosure – only for Badongo the silverback gorilla and his friends and family to immediately follow suit. We then spent the next hour showcasing Teddy’s animal figurines through the window to a fascinated Amari (Badongo and Bahasha’s baby).
4) The Maritime Museum
The Maritime Museum is brilliant, with the perfect blend of interesting information for grown-ups and interactive activities for children. There are all kinds of buttons and knobs to be pressed and pulled, and the building is far bigger than it at first appears, with dozens of little side rooms and secluded exhibits to discover.
I must have visited the Maritime Museum at least 50 times with my kids over the last few years and, even now, we almost always discover something new. Just maybe steer more sensitive children clear of the big growling dog statue, which never fails to put the wind up my three-year-old.
5) Jersey Bowl
Everyone loves bowling, right? Much like Tetris, crazy golf and reading on the toilet, it is one of those simple activities that never stops being enjoyable, no matter what your age.
And don’t worry if your offspring are a bit rubbish at bowling. You can just have those long inflatable snake things bunged into each gutter to avoid any stroppy meltdowns as and when you inevitably whup their butts on the scoreboard. Read it and weep, kiddos.
6) Acorn
Believe it or not, visiting Acorn is just about the all-time favourite activity of my eldest son, Teddy.
A huge Aladdin’s Cave of second-hand goodies, Acorn is a guaranteed source of toys, books, toys, teddies, toys, board games, toys, toys and more toys, all of which are low in price but high in quality. And while young ones look around the child-friendly aisles, mums and dads can take turns to disappear off to the clothing section (my wife) and the film and music section (me).
7) Jersey Underground Hospital
Informative and fun, the Underground Hospital is worth a visit for anyone with kids aged three or above. Sure, younger children are unlikely to grasp what any of it really means, but they will nevertheless enjoy exploring the lengthy tunnels and the various different rooms and exhibits. And the adjacent shop is filled with terrific old-school children’s toys.
8) Cineworld Jersey
The States have now renewed Cineworld Jersey’s licence for another nine years – woo hoo! – which means our lovely local multiplex is going to be on the horizon for the foreseeable future and the planned ‘arthouse cinema’ has been shelved. And this is great news for anyone whose kids would rather watch the latest Marvel blockbuster than some experimental Lars Von Trier dogma film about social and political issues and the profundities of existential dread.
Sure, a visit to the cinema can be a bit pricey, especially if your kids all want buckets of popcorn to scoff throughout the film, but it’s worth it.
9) Swimming
‘The era of global boiling has arrived,’ announced UN chief António Guterres last month. Thankfully, the sea surrounding Jersey hasn’t yet got the memo and remains refreshingly icy-cold and just right for a nice swim. And sea swimming is never more fun than when it’s pelting it down with rain. You’re already wet so why not just get even wetter?
If, however, you or your kids would rather not venture half-naked onto a windswept beach in the midst of a rainstorm then there is always AquaSplash or the awesome Aquadome at the Merton Hotel.
10) Buy some waterproofs and carry on regardless
Self explanatory really. So it’s raining? Big deal. Your kids aren’t made of dissoluble Aspirin, are they? Just whack on a cagoule and bung ‘em outside.
Thanks to Lucy Emma, Ben Pomroy and Maria Galloway for their suggestions.
