Let’s at least give our new bus company a chance

As I have said several times since that lot in the Big House decided to offer the service out to competition – a decision which led to Connex being binned and replaced from January next year by something called CT Plus Jersey – I found that drivers are polite, sensitive to the needs of passengers (particularly the elderly and those with young children), and the service runs on time to within a few minutes.

To be honest, while I knew that Connex had been binned, the name of the outfit replacing them hadn’t registered too greatly – probably because it’s usually pointless overburdening the grey matter with such inane detail when I’ll have forgotten much of it by the time I wake the following morning.

That’s why, when speaking on the phone to my mate in Guernsey – the one who went on a Muratti day trip on the mailboat, met this girl at the match and effectively stayed from that day to this (I think he came back here to collect his shaving gear) – the name CT Plus just didn’t ring any bells.

My mate was banging on about some survey the newspaper there had done about their new bus company – a survey which according to him found that the previous service was better. Apparently, the principal complaints were that drivers had dirty buses which arrive late, passengers weren’t given time to sit down, drivers didn’t know the routes and pretended not to know English when questioned, and stopped when they wanted to get coffee, lunch or money from a hole in the wall.

While my mate was going on about all this – he’s like me and finding it much easier to get the bus than use the passion wagon for getting to and from the metropolis – I was trying to think of some wisecrack, probably along the lines of ‘It serves you lot over there right for all your childish sniping at us’, but given his punchline I’m now glad I didn’t.

‘Don’t know what you’re sniggering at,’ he said. ‘You lot are getting the same firm from January next year.’

Well, if I wanted to be as pedantic as he is sometimes, I’d reply that we’re getting CT Plus Jersey whereas they’ve got CT Plus Guernsey, but I get the general drift so I won’t pursue that particular line any longer.

And in fairness to those taking over from Connex, I’m also well aware of the notion that no two people do the same job in exactly the same way, and the same probably goes for bus companies also.

Additionally, as a sort of friendly shot across the bows of CT Plus, can I say that you’ll have no problem at all from the likes of me if you provide me with a bus service comparable to the one I’ve enjoyed in recent years. I know my views about Connex are not shared by every passenger they’ve carried but, as the old girl used to say, you speak as you find.

THEY say that August is the silly season when it comes to newspapers, principally because a lot of people are on holiday, including politicians, who at other times of the year never seem to open their mouths unless there’s a reporter with a notebook or a television camera in the vicinity.

However, we’re now ten days into September, so you’d have thought that the window for saying or doing daft things in order to fill holes in newspapers and news programmes had well and truly shut.

I must confess that when I read Deputy Rob Duhamel’s suggestion that the St Aubin’s Bay sea lettuce be cultivated and used to make toothpaste, I thought April the First had arrived early, the August ‘silly season’ had been granted a one week extension or (as Herself succinctly put it) I’d perhaps overdosed on calvados.

While our Planning Minister might have a reputation for putting forward some pretty off-the-wall ideas, I must confess that on the subjects of toothpaste and indeed sea lettuce I am a veritable pauper when it comes to knowledge of either, so I’m on the fence.

In fact, the only recollection of toothpaste featuring in my thoughts

– other than remembering to use it – was one of the original debates on Fort Regent. Clarrie Dupré was the politician presenting the plans and Norman Le Brocq, a stonemason by trade, pointed out that where the entrance was located, the granite walls were 17 feet thick.

‘I’m told it’s not impossible to make an entrance there,’ said Clarrie.

‘I’m told it’s not impossible to get toothpaste back in the tube, but it’s mighty difficult,’ replied Norman.

As to Deputy Duhamel’s other little gem – turning the Methodist Church at Sion (rather than the appallingly anglicised ‘Sion Village’, which appears on signposts) into a themed pub – words actually fail me.

Perhaps he hasn’t noticed, but this place needs another pub, themed or otherwise, like it needs a hole in the head. How on earth can someone in charge of Planning suggest that such an idea would be a better use of the site than housing four families is actually beyond me.

Furthermore, as the old man used to say when getting into his stride in a family argument, the crass insensitivity of suggesting to Methodists, of all people, that one of their places of worship should be turned into a pub shows a lack of understanding that almost beggars belief.

AND finally … I see Prime Minister Ian Gorst wants to be able to reshuffle his Cabinet. I can’t see any reason why he shouldn’t be allowed to. Perhaps he’d like to read the previous few paragraphs before he makes any final decisions.