Sometimes it's the small things in life that matter

Sorry to disappoint you, but there is just one thing on my mind this week: poo. And no, I don’t mean the level of debate in the States Chamber (which I have to say was pretty good this week, actually).

No, more specifically I’m talking dog poo (cue the funny jokes about me talking c**p again).

It’s all Deputy Richard Rondel’s fault, really, for he is the one who brought this grimy little matter to the public’s attention. He asked a question in the States on Tuesday about how many people had been fined in recent years for not picking up after their pooches.

It’s not the first time the issue has caused a stink, and I am sure it won’t be the last. What was interesting, however, was the answer: no one has been prosecuted for the offence (yes, it is illegal) anywhere in the Island for the last three years.

Surprised? I was. You see, while I don’t think it is an earth-shattering problem that threatens to bring down the States, there are certain areas in Jersey where your chances of standing in a steaming pile of dog poo are actually quite high.

Take the north coast, for example. There, it also seems common to pick up the offending faeces in those lovely little nappy bags, hang it on a tree and hope no one notices that you don’t come back for it.

It’s not nice, and the plastic bags are even worse for the environment than the excrement itself, but I haven’t ever thought much more than that about it. However, after my report on Deputy Rondel’s question was printed in this newspaper, I was given no choice.

First came the letters, then the phone calls, and pretty soon I realised that there are a lot of people out there who are very interested in poo.

Some were keen to make sure that all dog owners weren’t tarred with the same brush, whereas others simply wanted to let me know what they thought should be done about it.

And this has happened before – not to me, but to colleagues past and present who for whatever reason ended up writing about dog mess.

Which just goes to show that the problem of owners not cleaning up after their pets is perhaps as old as the bond between man and dog itself.

SO isn’t it about time it was solved once and for all, I hear you say? Yes, that would be nice. But that would also be totally unrealistic and – here’s the real problem – far too expensive.

Could the States, for example, justify spending thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money on dog wardens when they are cutting everything else left right and centre? No.

Should there be more police officers out on patrol, hiding behind bushes in the hope of catching an irresponsible dog owner? Again no – we don’t have the money.

Or should we install CCTV on the north coast and some of our worst-affected beaches to ensure that Big Brother is always watching when you take the dog out for a stroll? Of course not. Yes, fining people would bring in revenue to cover the costs (it’s up to £200 a poo – sorry, pop – if you get caught), and knowing that there are ways and means of prosecuting offenders would act as a deterrent. But it’s just not feasible.

Think also of the costs of prosecution, the proof that would be needed and what would happen if Joe Bloggs claimed it wasn’t his little Rover that had done the deed. Samples would have to be collected, tests carried out and witnesses contacted. Not that simple, is it?

Instead, we have to learn to accept that just as some people will always drink too much and get into fights, dogs will always have to relieve themselves and some owners won’t bother to pick it up.

What can be done for not very much money, which I’ll say again is the key, given the current economic climate, is raise awareness, perhaps add a few more dog bins around the place and act responsibly – dog owners and others alike.

Dog poo really is a highly political issue, more than I had realised. It

is also a good example of how what some of us may consider to be ‘none issues’ really are a concern for many people.

So in a week when the consultation document for the Council of Minister’s Strategic Plan was launched, when the whole Electoral Commission debate bumbled on and the States agreed the transfer of more than £6 million from a normally ringfenced fund to boost the Health department’s budget this year, let’s not forget the small things, too.

They are, in many ways, just as important and can make a big difference to the quality of life in Jersey.

And let’s also not forget the part that all Islanders can play in helping to reduce the number of minor things that often take up political time and money and cause upset when they really don’t need to. (Disclaimer: Most dog owners are responsible blah … blah … blah.)