From Christopher Fairbairn.

PLACE your bets!

If the hapless Geoff Southern was a betting man, and I guess that risk-taking on the massive scale that he attempts (not just around election time) is a form of betting, his shirt would be on its way to a new owner.

The predictable outcome of his poorly thought-out and executed proposition against the Chief Minister, combined with his failure to provide evidence to support his personal attack on Housing Minister Terry Le Main, must surely question his common sense and political ability. And if nothing else, it may be sufficient, some may say, to make him consider his political future as a £42,000-a-year States Member. Or will it?

Surely we need politicians of his calibre in office if only to show us just how good many of the others are, so I’m putting him up for a new role in which he has my complete trust and confidence – ‘Plastic Minister’.

The vital issue of being less reliant on plastic has dominated our recent attempts to save the planet and is important to our future, therefore I see no one else who could be trusted to get the job done, however badly. My hope is that he will be so unsuccessful that there will be a re-introduction of the much lamented supermarket plastic bag, a product close to my heart – but sadly no longer close to my pedal-bin .

So when Geoff has proven himself on this front, I propose to put him forward to sort out the right place to build the new incinerator in the primary role as ‘Waste Minister’. After all, he can’t be any worse than the two current antagonists: the Man in Black, Guy de Faye, and his adversary, The Man in Tweed, Rob Duhamel.

I have a few sites in mind to get the others chatting at coffee time on Tuesday: how’s about the proposed site for a second People’s Park in Bath Street, the El Tico site in St Ouen’s Bay, oh, and yes …the site of the old holiday camp at Plémont.

Also, I can’t wait until Geoff’s eloquently spoken sidekick in the ‘let’s kick ass’ campaign – Shona Pitman – dares to censure our Bailiff. I have already placed a bet with my contact in St John on the outcome.

By the way, I won three ton of fresh vraic on Geoff’s escapade, now I’m looking for at least twenty ton on his hapless partner’s defeat; how well my garden looks, and certainly will continue to look, thanks to this less than dynamic duo.

In the prophetic words of Peter, Paul and Mary – ‘When will they ever learn?’

La Rougette,

Grande Route de la Côte,

St Clement.

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