A teenager who went on to stab two teachers and a fellow pupil wrote in her notebook questioning why she wanted to kill others, a court has heard.
Swansea Crown Court was shown pictures taken of a notebook found at the home of a 14-year-old girl who attacked teachers Fiona Elias and Liz Hopkin, and a student, at Ysgol Dyffryn Aman, also known as Amman Valley School, in Ammanford, Carmarthenshire in April.
On the fourth day of the trial, the jury heard the pages featured drawings referencing one of the teachers and the teenager she attacked in the school.
The 14-year-old girl, who cannot be named for legal reasons, previously admitted wounding with intent and possession of a bladed article on school premises.
However, she denies attempted murder in the incident on April 24, when she was 13.
One page said ‘Why do I want to kill others as much as I want to kill myself? Maybe it’s another reason I’m simply not human. Why do I sit around all day when I want to move? Why do I feel nothing but hate? If I know what I’m doing why do I do it?’.
Another page featured a drawing, possibly of the girl she went on to attack, which said “burning a person”, “to death” and “they could die”, with a smiley face drawn close by.
Police bodyworn camera footage of the girl speaking to an officer in the back of a police van was also shown to the jury.
In one video she said: “I stabbed her – oopsies.”
She added: “I’ve had loads of eyes on me today.
“Sooner or later I’m 90% sure this will be on the news.
“That’s one way to be a celebrity.”
“If your actions speak the truth what would that make me?”
After she arrived at the police station she questioned how she could “face my family after what I have done”.
The jury also watched the CCTV from the day of the incident again and were given a detailed breakdown of the pupil’s movements.
It showed her walking into the lower school hall early in the day where she sat behind a curtain next to a stage.
She stayed in place for around half an hour and at one point could be seen stabbing the knife she would later use in the attack into the floor.
She later joined her friends at a table in the hall before Ms Elias entered the room and ordered her to leave.
The girl went into the corridor to continue talking to Ms Elias, following her around before returning to the hall, where she showed the other pupils the knife.
She shared a can of drink with another pupil before walking outside after Ms Elias.
She walks by the teacher, who was speaking to Liz Hopkin, before turning around and engaging them in conversation.
For around two minutes she could be seen talking to the teachers with her hands in her pockets before pulling the knife out and launching into her attack.
Her attack on Ms Elias lasted less than a minute before the teacher managed to get away and the girl began her assault on Ms Hopkin, stabbing her once in the neck.
Other teachers arrived and attempted to calm her down but she pushed by them before shouting at a girl and running towards her, hitting her with the knife.
The trial continues.
