- ChildLine’s advise for parents to ease the pressure of exams
- Meet our Parish Playgroup of the week
- Homework: Too much or too little? – Join our Facebook debate
- Mum’s the Word – too young for earings?
More children contacted ChildLine last year about exam stress than any other worry. Parenting asked them what can be done to ease the pressure
WITH the exam season in full flow, students are being reminded that help is available if they are worried or anxious about their tests.
The ChildLine charity has revealed a 200 per cent increase in exam stress counselling last year.
For the first time, the charity said that school and educational problems were a major concern for those contacting the helpline in 2013 and 2014.
The charity carried out 34,454 counselling sessions, mentioning school and education problems with the huge increase in counselling about exam stress specifically.
There were also more than 87,500 visits to ChildLine’s web page about the problem.
Not wanting to disappoint their parents, fear of failure and the general pressures linked to academic achievement were all major themes.
Sharon Copsey, NSPCC head of service for the Channel Islands, said: ‘The exam period can be a very stressful and anxious time for young people.
‘As these figures reveal, the pressure to do well is felt by an increasing number of young people across the country.
‘We hear from lots of young people each year who are anxious, worried or panicking about their exams and revision.
‘We want to let them know that they are not alone and that ChildLine is here to listen to them.’
Stresses about exams can affect young people’s ability to sleep, and can trigger anxiety attacks, depression and tearfulness and eating disorders.
In some cases, it can also lead to self-harm and suicidal feelings, or can make them worse.
One teenage boy who spoke to a ChildLine counsellor said: ‘I am about to take my GCSEs and am under so much pressure, as my parents are expecting me to do really well.
‘I am going to revision classes and trying really hard, but I feel like it is not good enough for them.
‘My parents don’t allow me to do anything else apart from revision, and if I try to talk to them it always ends up in an argument.’
TO help children and young people to cope with exams and combat anxiety, ChildLine is offering the following advice for young people:
- Make sure you take regular breaks from revising, and do some exercise.
- Go to bed at a reasonable time and get some sleep.
- Getting a good nights sleep will help you much more than trying to revise all night you will just end up very tired the next day.
- Think positively. Even if you dont feel like it, a positive attitude will help you during your revision.
- Take some water into the test with you, if you can. Keeping hydrated will help you to concentrate.
- The ChildLine website has a Beat exam stress section for young people. Its confidential helpline is 0800 1111.
CHILDLINE is also offering the following advice for parents and carers to ease young people’s exam stress and anxieties during the revision period:
- Dont place unnecessary pressure on your children to gain certain grades. They may feel they have failed if they dont achieve what they thought was expected of them.
- Encourage children to take regular breaks, eat snacks and exercise.
- Help them to revise by giving them the space and time to do so.
- Be relaxed about chores or untidiness, and understand that they might be moody.
- Allow your children to revise at nights if thats what works best for them. However, do make sure that they get enough sleep to keep their energy levels up in the day.
- Be supportive and alleviate their worries by talking to them.
Colin Lever, an educational consultant and author – and a member of the JEP Parenting Panel – said that there was a lot of pressure for students and schools to do well in exams.
He questions whether schools are putting pressure on students to do well and causing more anxiety in the classroom.
‘No one is under any illusion that the two are connected, but a problem occurs when schools and the broader education system concern themselves more with accountability than capability,’ said Mr Lever of the website understandingbehaviour.com.
‘Teachers are put under pressure to get results, and that stress is transferred to the children, openly or unwittingly.
‘This creates an atmosphere of anxiety in the classroom from the day children enter full-time education, leaving some children traumatised by the whole experience.
‘Parents are obviously keen for their children to succeed in school, but it is important that they keep a check on their child’s emotional well-being.
Children tend not to communicate anxiety through discussion – it usually surfaces in the way in which they express themselves.
‘This might be by becoming disruptive or by becoming introvert.
‘Either way, their behaviour will alter and it is the parent who is best placed to recognise the changes.
‘Although a child may be reluctant to admit that he or she is struggling, a dialogue between them, the parents and the school may help to reduce any examination anxieties.
‘By raising awareness of such issues, schools can put procedures in place to support and protect those children in need.’
Homework: Too much or too little?
ONE school in the UK is looking at banning homework as youngsters become depressed.
And now a Jersey teacher has carried out a study into whether the amount of homework that students are given is appropriate.
Susan Parker, head of business studies at Beaulieu Convent School, said that the study shows that students at Beaulieu are actually generally happy with the amount of homework they are set and how long it takes them to do it.
It found that in Years 7 to 9, students are spending an average of three to six hours a week on homework, compared with the OECD average of five hours.
We asked parents on the JEP Parenting Facebook if homework should be banned. Here are some of their replies:
Sarah: The schools should have a homework club after school. I find it hard to help with my girls’ homework as I am dyslexic. Both my girls have special needs: one is very bright and can do her homework, the other finds it hard to cope with. I think it’s better to either ban homework or have every school set up a homework club.’
Jayleigh: ‘One piece of homework a night is acceptable, as with after-school activities it can be stressful to get it done otherwise.’
Richard: ‘Why should it be banned? Not giving homework is once again putting the responsibility for education entirely on the school, with the student taking no responsibility for unstructured learning (which is key), and the parents taking no responsibility for policing it.’
Jean: ‘Yes, ban homework. My children are doing six hours at school and want to come home to recharge their batteries for the next day, and play outside with their friends, which to me is much more important than homework. Don’t get me wrong, we do reading every night and they are of an age now where they enjoy reading and usually have 20 minutes of their own free time of reading just before they sleep. We sometimes struggle to fit the homework in and often do it all at the weekend, as in the weekday we do after-school activities.’
Marta: ‘My six-year-old son loves to do his homework. He cannot wait to read books. The homework takes 30 minutes, three to four times a week, and we swap each day with something different, like reading, maths or spelling, so as not to get him too tired.’
Sarah: ‘It’s a daft idea to ban homework. It’s all part of learning and about parents sitting for ten minutes to go through it with them.’
Parenting: In Brief
Ways and means to eat the greens
IT’S sometimes hard for adults to achieve, but parents everywhere will appreciate the difficulties in trying to get children to eat their five-a-day.
But a new study is claiming to have the answer: start very young.
It is believed that children will develop a taste for their greens if they are fed one a day for their first two weeks of weaning.
Researchers at University College London found that giving babies simple vegetables over a two-week period will make them more willing to try other vegetables as they get older.
The key to success, according to the researchers, is to use vegetables that differ in taste, such as broccoli, spinach and butternut squash.
And it is important not to force the child to eat something they clearly do not like –keep trying other greens until you find something.
Dont lose sleep over your exams
AS we have learned in Parenting this week, exam stress is not something to be taken lightly.
And a new study in the United States has revealed that those students who stay up very late, or even all night, may be a sign that a student is already on the road to disappointment when it comes to results time.
Using 4,000 UK-based students to monitor, researchers at Harvard Graduate School of Education in America found that those who were naturally gifted academically were less likely to deprive themselves of sleep and food than their less-gifted peers.
Rather than giving the body a hard time, a better measure of determination is to see how well students manage their time and adapt their learning techniques, the research found.
Age level rises for abortions
WOMEN in their early 30s are now more likely to have an abortion than teenagers, new UK figures have revealed.
The research has also discovered that the majority of those women are unmarried but live with their partners, and face significant career choices or financial stress.
The lack of a partner willing to play the role of the father is also a factor, according to the Department of Health study.
New figures on autistic children
WOMEN over 40 and teenage girls are more likely to raise children with autism, new research claims.
And couples with a significant gap between their ages are also more likely to raise children with the condition.
The study – the largest ever undertaken of its kind, involved more than 5.7 million children in five countries.
Fathers over the age of 50 saw the greatest increase in the risk of their child developing the condition, according to Autism Speaks, an organisation which sponsors research and raises awareness of autism.
Summer food to tackle asthma
MEDICAL experts believe they may hold the answer to ensuring that child asthma sufferers do not have to endure another painful and uncomfortable winter.
Professors at a medical research facility in Australia have identified that feeding your children certain foods throughout the summer will give their body a head start in tackling the illness.
They found that foods high in antioxidants, such as tomatoes, watermelon and grapefruit, have been identified as the key that helps with the body’s reaction to colds and flu, and therefore helps to prevent the onset of an asthma attacks.
THIS is Jersey Child Care Week, and on Monday the Jersey Association of Child Carers had a Toddlethon to raise money for toys and equipment for their playgroups.
Today they are meeting at Durrell and on Friday they are having a summer party with sports games for all the children who attend the playgroups during the week.
Adrienne Houiellebecq and Ali Lewis run the JACC Playgroup at Communicare every Monday.
They have indoor and outdoor play and it costs £2 a session and runs from 9.45 am to 11.45 am.
There are toys, plus chalk boards, puzzles, books and Playdoh, and the playgroup is suitable for babies up to four years old.
If you want your parish playgroup featured in the JEP and have a picture of your child with their first friends at playgroup, please email parenting@jerseyeveningpost.com.
Mum’s the Word
‘IT is a form of child cruelty.
‘Severe pain and fear are inflicted on infants unnecessarily, and it serves no purpose other than to satisfy the parent’s vanity.’
This statement was made by a mother in the UK who has launched an online campaign appealing to the Minister for Children to have ear piercing for babies and toddlers banned.
[figure caption=”By Elaine Walker
ewalker@jerseyeveningpost.com” title=”Elaine Walker-Byrne.jpgParentingMum’s the Word column” align=”none” url=”/?attachment_id=1353071″ id=”1353071″ align=”right” size=”25″]
The issue has divided parents across the Island too, and while this debate is not new, the petition is causing widespread attention.
The UK campaign has gained more than 40,000 signatures and the issue is to be raised in the House of Commons.
I agree that babies and toddlers should not have holes stabbed in their little soft ears to have metal or diamond studs sticking out of them.
They should be old enough to make their own decision.
Having your ears pierced can be painful.
Every parent dreads vaccination time, when their little bundle of joy is jabbed with a needle.
Why would you want to put your baby or young child through being jabbed through the ears for cosmetic reasons or just to ‘look pretty’?
I remember begging my own mother to let me have my ears pierced as I was the only girl in the class’ (or at least it felt like it at the time) not to have earrings.
My mam reluctantly agreed that I could have my ears pierced for my Communion when I was eight.
I still remember the moment when the shop assistant, who happened to be my neighbour, took out the ‘gun’.
I will never forget the stabbing pain and almost ran out of the shop before she could stab me in my left ear.
But I went through with it –I think out of guilt because I had begged my mam so much to have my ears pierced.
Walking away with my swollen red ears, I remember being told I had to twist the earring every day in circles and back and forth to make sure the ‘hole didn’t close’, and clean the ear front and back twice a day to stop it becoming infected.
Why anyone would want to inflict this sort of pain and regime on a baby or young child is beyond me.
There are some parents who are angry that their rights will be taken away, but what about the child’s rights – who exactly are they getting this done for?
Here are some of the comments on the JEP Parenting Facebook:
Karen: ‘It’s not for the child’s benefit, it’s purely something the parents want done. Yes, it should be banned, it’s selfish doing that so young.’
Monique: ‘I don’t understand how anyone would want to put their baby through pain just because it looks pretty. Your baby is perfect without earrings. You wouldn’t smack, hit, pinch or intentionally cause pain to your child, so why is it OK to shove a metal needle through their ears? Everyone would go mad if a baby had their nose pierced, but really it’s the same. Definitely should be banned. Children should have a right to decide if they want to pierce their body.’
Belinda: ‘I don’t agree with ear piercing at such a young age, but this is my choice, my opinion. Would people stop wanting to ban life choices to give them-selves a good conscience? Next we will be banned from having an opinion.’
Leah: ‘My lovely mother did ear pirecing all three girls, including me, when we were very young. I have also done the same with my princess. It’s not to show off or whatever, it was my choice as a mother. It doesn’t make me a bad mum. Anyone who thinks that is deluded.’
I know there are some cultures where ear piercing is part of a long tradition, but I would support this campaign for a minimum legal age requirement to be set.
When the time comes and our daughter asks to have her ears pierced, I am going to stick to my guns and suggest she continues to wear the lovely stick-on and clip-on earrings until she is old enough to make her own choice and care for her own body.
The question is what is the right age to have a child’s ears pierced? And would you support an ear piercing ban on babies?
Tell us what you think by logging onto JEP Parenting Page on Facebook.
Magic comes from far away …
This children’s book review of the week comes from Julie Pirouet, one of the founders of Kids Rock Jersey
WE are huge fans of Enid Blyton in our house. I read her books as a child and love sharing them now with my own children.
The Faraway Tree Collection is a magical set of books in which siblings Joe, Beth and Frannie go on adventures with their friends to the various lands that stop at the top of the Faraway Tree.
Who wouldn’t want to go to the Land of Treats or Land of Toys! These adventures are shared with the remarkable friends they have made who live in the tree, including Moonface and Silky the Fairy, who often supply them with Pop Cakes and Toffee Shocks before they make their way home by sliding down the slippery slip.
These stories are perfect for reading aloud at bedtime, especially for those children who are starting to want something more than a picture book, because they really are what dreams are made of and fuel the imagination.
Enid Blyton’s Wishing Chair series is quite similar too, if you want more adventures in magical lands with strange elves and pixies!
