Members have a roll call with a difference

Following last week’s vote in the Laughter Factory to end a free supply of sandwiches for the inmates, lunch is no longer on the menu.

I am still in shock at our beloved politicians at last deciding to deny themselves something. This selfless act of denial has also left me hoping that it could set a new altruistic trend in what, after all, started life as an honorary service for the good of the community.

Admittedly it was only a few slices of bread and a variety of fillings, but it mounts up over the far too many days on which the factory sits. Now the principle has been established, there should be no stopping them.

My incredulity was stretched further when the self-proclaimed champion of the oppressed masses and leader of the three-strong People’s Popular Front of St Helier No 2, Deputy Geoff Southern, held out for his right to free munchies at the taxpayers’ expense.

Here was a highly principled man, never afraid to tilt at the windmills of the establishment (no matter what damage it may cause to his ambition to cross the floor to the Senatorial benches) arguing that nothing should be given away without negotiation.

Just what would these negotiations have involved? A possible trade-off of healthy snack bars and fruit against butter-laden doorstops? A subsidised automated sandwich dispenser? Or perhaps a discount deal with a nearby café or hostelry so two Members could eat for the price of one between 1 pm and 2 pm every time the Factory sits?

In Oliver Stone’s 1987 Oscar-winning blockbuster, Wall Street, Gekko (played by Michael Douglas) also said: ‘The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed – for lack of a better word – is good.’ Fortunately, 26 States Members disagreed, thereby saving us all £11,300.

This is admittedly a mere peccadillo by this Island’s profligate public-spending standards, but it is not an amount to be scoffed at.

However, there were 11 others who stood by their stomachs and backed Deputy Southern, including Chief Minister Terry Le Sueur and Senator Sarah Ferguson, who contradicted herself by promising to bring a proposition to the House to do away with another political perk – free parking.

I was surprised by Senator Le Sueur’s stance. I recall a lunchtime back in my days as a news reporter when I bumped into him in Marks and Sparks. In response to some sarcastic comment on my part about expensive lunches, he made a point of telling that he was paying for his butty from his own pocket.

What was even more perplexing was the decision of four inmates to abstain from the vote. For what earthly reason? Do they have wheat allergies? Or are they are on pre-Christmas diets?

Should Deputy Southern feel aggrieved at having to fork out for his lunch when the House is in session, he could always launch another public appeal for funds as he did back in June when, along with fellow Jersey Democratic Alliance gang of four member Deputy Shona Pitman, he was fined for flouting the electoral law. Perhaps his supporters would care to dig even deeper in their pockets and make donations towards the contents of his lunchbox.

IF there is no such thing as a free lunch, there should also be no free parking places for our beloved leaders, so more power to Senator Ferguson’s elbow. There is nothing more galling than seeing some Members’ expensive, over-sized gas-guzzling motors hogging places while those in less ostentatious makes do the daily multi-storey shuffle for spaces.

A season ticket for public car parks costs less than £1,200 a year; for anyone earning £40,000 or more from public funds, it is no hardship to fork out. One or two fewer perks from the public purse for those who are still public servants would save millions every year which could be spent on more deserving causes.

The £11,300 saving on sandwiches was later dramatically wiped out by a carelessly placed ring binder that cost us £10 million. You couldn’t make it up if you tried.

In what can be only be described as a George W Bush Moment, the usually cool and collected Senator Alan Maclean gave town residents what they have been crying out for for more than 12 years – the Town Park. Unlike Channel 4’s Come Dine With Me, House rules do not allow for a change of vote the next day, so a gutted Senator must live with his mistake.

Our beloved politicians have been dodging fulfilling the promise of a grand park to mark the Millennium for far too long, no doubt in the hope that they would eventually wear us down and the 16,000-plus who signed the petition would fade away.

Then they could pursue their ulterior motive of turning the site into yet another collection of tiny flats, crammed into far too small a space with a honking big multi-storey car park taking prominence.

Deputy Southern, whose proposal the hapless Senator inadvertently voted for, called it ‘a victory for democracy and for the people’ which would ‘restore the name of politics in this Island.’

Far from it, Deputy. It was a mistake, and a very costly one that will no doubt grow like Topsy to waste even more money before there is any sign of a park, in whatever shape or form, on the old Gasworks site. Seeing as the inmates of the Laughter Factory make such a hash of voting when they think about it, may I suggest that from now on they leave it to chance and simply toss their ring binders in the air to land ‘pour’ or ‘contre’?

AS the States sat last week a ‘ring of steel’ was cast around the building, in the form of police officers strategically placed at street corners and junctions, and highly visible due to the fluorescent vests they had borrowed from the Honoraries, as security for the drugs case before the Royal Court.

A few more votes like last week’s ring binder fiasco and there may be a need for a permanent police presence to protect the inmates from an outraged public.