New Year: It’s time for a revival of polite behaviour

Should I buy the bog-standard cheaper and larger store brand gravy or one devised by the master of culinary convolution, Heston Bloomingheck. Being rather dismissive of the celebrity’s chef’s curiously convoluted method of producing food,

I imagined a recipe two months in the making as each ingredient was deconstructed; reduced to a pulp, powder or an essential essence of the original before being put back together again, bound with lashings of gelatine and revived with a shot of liquid nitrogen.

I reached for the ‘normal’ onion gravy and resumed the battle of the isles musing that Mr Bloomingheck’s cooking methods are symptomatic of our over-complicated society.

As life supposedly becomes easier with advances in technology, medicine, communications et al, everyday tasks are strangely becoming more convoluted and complex – and then made even more complicated by a bureaucracy intent on strangling society with its manifold rules and regulations.

Take Christmas for example which has lamentably been transformed from a meaningful Christian family-centric holiday into an obscene orgy of consumerism. For those who have not already taken advantage of the sales to buy this year’s greetings cards and decorations there are precisely 355 shopping days to go.

You would have thought that by New Year’s Eve, Islanders would have had enough of shopping. Not so judging by the traffic congestion around Waitrose East and West come mid afternoon as I attempted to drive by both just before the heavens opened. A divine comment on rampant consumerism, I reflected, as the trusty Clio cruised past the queues.

As society has become so possession focused and ‘celebrity’ obsessed, it has forgotten that politeness, common courtesy and respect for others cost nothing, yet go a lot further than money ever can.

I recall a story told by the great raconteur, actor and wit, Peter Ustinov, about one of his many trips to the country of his birth, Russia. Standing at the entrance to a hotel in St Petersburg, politely listening to an American lady moaning about how rude the Russians were, he caught the eye of a dour-faced old man shuffling past, soaked by torrential rain.

Speaking in his native tongue, Ustinov addressed the stranger with the traditional polite Russian exchange between strangers. The old man’s face lit up as he paused to engage in conversation.

The bewildered and opinionated American turned to him and with overwhelming puzzlement asked: ‘How did you do that?’

He did not need to answer because, as we all know when someone shows common courtesy, no matter who you are or where you are, a few words, a smile or a gesture of appreciation can transcend linguistic barriers and cultural differences.

As life on the rock becomes ever more hectic and selfish, there is no excuse for the increasingly rude indifference shown by those who should know better.

When a door is held open it is customary to acknowledge the gesture with a word of thanks or at least smile, not push past chatting inanely on a mobile phone or oblivious to anything but the contents of an iPod. Similarly, when serving customers, shop assistants should not continue chatting among themselves about the merits of whichever pub or club they intend to frequent that coming evening.

As for the mobile phone I was horrified to hear that along with turkey, brandy sauce and Brussels sprouts, it has become an indispensible accompaniment for festive dinners, placed conveniently next to cutlery just in case someone calls.

Just where should it placed? On the side-plate, next to the soupspoon or before or after the fish knife?

It is high time that dining etiquette was updated so that mobile phones, like elbows, are taboo on the ‘polite’ dining table. Moreover, if calls are to be taken then it should be out of earshot of fellow diners – especially those at other tables – and preferably outside the building, in the outcast section along with smokers!

The most infuriating of all discourteous behaviour is multiplying like some infectious dreaded virus on the Island’s highways and byways.

If a considerate driver takes the time and trouble to reverse or pull in to let you pass, even if the Highway Code dictates it is your right of way, a wave of the hand is required. Speeding past without even wink of acknowledgement – and talking on a mobile phone at the same time – is as rude as a blinding flash of full beam headlights or an arrogantly raised single finger!

The Highway Code also advises leaving a safe breaking distance from the vehicle ahead, especially in wet conditions. So it may come as a shock to those who drive between the tunnel and Bel Royal that the inviting gap in the adjacent lane is not an open invitation to cut in without sufficient – if any – notice. Moreover, the frenzied flashing and angry gesticulations of the driver forced to brake unnecessarily, and at risk to the vehicle behind, is not a quaint form of local greeting!

The Oxford Dictionary defines politeness as: ‘having or showing behaviour that is respectful and considerate of other people’. It is something that parents used to instill in their children but which sadly seems to have gone out of fashion.

As we resolve to make changes in 2013 a revival of polite and thoughtful behaviour is long overdue.