‘I wish my husband knew how many people loved him’
A MOTHER-OF-TWO whose husband took his own life has spoken for the first time about her loss, hoping to encourage anyone having suicidal thoughts to think about the effect it will have on those left behind.
At the start of Suicide Prevention Week, the Islander has told how she never thought her husband would have killed himself and how she feels she needs to talk about it to remove the stigma associated with suicide.
The Islander didn’t have any reason to believe her husband of 18 years was depressed or had any mental health issues.
But in May two years ago the 51-year-old received a visit from the police to tell her that her husband had taken his own life at his place of work.
He had celebrated his 50th birthday the previous month and friends were due to visit for a party the weekend of his death. His wife said he seemed excited about the party and had not spoken about anything he was concerned about.
‘Every morning he would take the dog out at 5.30 am for a walk. He did that as normal the morning he died.
‘He asked me what was for tea when he got back from the walk and I just said “something from the freezer”. He was really looking forward to the weekend because his friends were coming over for the party. He said “bye” and that was it,’ she said.
‘The next thing I know the police arrive at my work and tell me that my husband has died.’
Every unexplained death and suicide is investigated by the States police coroner’s officer Tony Forder.
He will help support anyone whose loved ones have taken their own life and that individual will also be put in contact with a bereavement counselling service.
Despite the Islander being put in contact with the counselling service she feels there should be more support and would like to see some kind of group for those who have lost someone to suicide.
She said: ‘The more people talk about suicide then the more stigma can be taken away. I think people often look at me and think “that is the woman whose husband committed suicide”.
‘If I could just stop one person from taking their own life then I have done my bit.
‘The past two years have been really hard and I felt there wasn’t any help out there for me. I hope that by raising awareness more help will be offered in the Island.
‘I think if anyone knew the ripple effect they create when they take their own life and the effect it has on everyone else then they might think twice.
‘I wish my husband realised how many people loved him.’
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