COMMENT: Jobsworths who should take a running jump

We reflected upon that the other evening when discussing the latest attempt by the nanny state to set us on the path to smiling becoming a hanging offence – well, at the very least half an hour standing on the parish hall green carpet waiting for a Centenier to lighten one’s wallet by 50 quid.

This time it’s pier-jumping – an extremely ancient local pastime enjoyed by very many generations of crapauds – which is known, so we are told by those who profess to be guarding our wellbeing, as ‘tombstoning’ in the United Kingdom. The only thing these jobsworths haven’t said is that we must in future use the UK expression, but the way this place is going I have little doubt that this will come in the fullness of time.

Our discussion included expressions directed at those who chose to come out with this nonsense just at the start of the schools’ summer holidays which frankly do not bear repeating in a family newspaper and besides could also be actionable. Suffice to say that the old lads were not best pleased.

Those who’ve known each other for well over half a century used to indulge in (and thoroughly enjoy) pier-jumping down at Havre des Pas, usually from what I think was a German gun emplacement on the corner of Green Street slip but also occasionally from the Black Stage further round towards La Collette – a rusting structure which gave us youngsters an enormous amount of pleasure but which was later demolished, no doubt for ‘elf-n-safety’ reasons.

Those who know the gun emplacement on the slip will recall that the sea wall slopes outward, and so jumping off it was a case of taking as much of a run as possible and then stretching the legs in order to hit the water rather than the wall. For those at the Harbour Office – now anglicised into something called the Coastguard – who might be reading this, then can I acknowledge that of course there was an element of danger in this, but that, in case you’re in need of further explanation, is the whole point.

Life generally can be dangerous and unless we are made aware of that absolute fact at a very early age, then we are running a very real risk of raising generations of kids without the spirit of adventure which has brought such huge benefits to mankind since the beginning of time.

If these jobsworths want something useful to do may I suggest that they resist the temptation to make criminals out of kids enjoying themselves at no risk to others and concentrate instead on bringing to book those who exceed our maritime speed limits day in and day out without fear of prosecution.

ON now to other matters maritime, and after what must be the better part of four years I see that the long-suffering sea travellers using the Elizabeth Harbour terminal might well be provided with halfway decent catering facilities in the next year or so.

Last year there were about 660,000 people who arrived or left by sea, so I suppose it’s safe to assume that half were outward bound and may well have used catering facilities had they existed in any meaningful form. Multiply that by four, or even three if I’ve exaggerated the length of time the terminal’s café has been closed, and you are looking at about a million travellers who have not only been denied the sort of facilities they could reasonably expect to be provided in a port handling that sort of number but have also left here with as less than favourable impression of the place. It is little short of a disgrace, yet no one at all – neither the pinstripes supposedly running the ports or that lot in the Big House paid nine hundred notes a week to look after our interests – has done anything more meaningful than shrug their collective shoulders and carry on drawing their fat salaries.

And finally…Prime Minister Ian Gorst says recent immigration levels are not sustainable.

How remarkably perceptive of the boy.

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