Health: Love is all you need – to make you act like a complete lunatic!

SCIENTISTS at University College London have discovered why people are prone to acting – how to put it? – a tad irrationally when they’re in love.

Tom Ogg

The behaviour-studying boffins have revealed that a large section of the human brain effectively de-activates when a person falls in love – namely the frontal cortex which, alas, is vital to controlling a person’s sense of judgement.

This explains why freshly love-struck individuals so often find themselves behaving in seemingly self-destructive and undisciplined ways, be it putting an otherwise happy marriage on the line, spending inordinate amounts of money or just standing around outside the object of their affection’s house at three in the morning, crying.

Scientists have also revealed that the brains of people in love are prone to releasing unusually high levels of the chemical dopamine. This leads to a sensation has been compared to taking cocaine (love is the drug, indeed) and accounts for the manic highs and extreme lows people so often experience when Cupid comes a-calling.

Nevertheless, it can often be hard to decipher whether you’re in love or just in need of a cold shower. Thankfully, human behaviour experts have compiled the following list as a tell-tale checklist to help determine whether or not it must be love, love, love.

To liven things up a bit, I’ve decided to add in my own less flattering but somewhat more accurate observations on the matter:

1. THE EXPERTS SAY: You think about him/her constantly.

THE REALITY: You’ve become an obsessional lunatic, unable to think in anything resembling a coherent manner while your ability to concentrate on even the most rudimentary of everyday tasks has effectively disappeared.

2. THE EXPERTS SAY: Whenever you’re apart, you dissect the last conversation, both in your head and to family and friends.

THE REALITY: You obsessively pour over every single thing that was said when you last spoke, searching for hidden meanings in everything they said and overinflating any fluffed line on your part into a potentially relationship-ending disaster of catastrophic proportions. Your obsessional jabbering has become so soul-destroyingly predictable and one-note that your friends and family all now dread talking to you with a passion to rival that of your beating heart.

3. THE EXPERTS SAY: Work, friends, family and hobbies all take a backseat to your new partner.

THE REALITY: Quite frankly, your mother could be on fire directly in front of you and you’d barely notice because you’re so wrapped up in borderline-deranged infatuation.

4. THE EXPERTS SAY: You constantly await their next call, text or email.

THE REALITY: You spend almost every second of every day sat staring at the screen of your phone/laptop/both simultaneously, sweat dripping down your forehead, your mind screaming with impatient fury while your legs nervously dance up and down as if someone is repeatedly jabbing a cattle prod into your buttocks.

5. THE EXPERTS SAY: You find no faults. All the habits that would typically annoy you in anyone else seem appealing in your newfound lover.

THE REALITY: This will last about six months. Thereafter all of the nose picking/noisy eating/casual racism that you’d previously overlooked will suddenly become horrifyingly apparent.

6. THE EXPERTS SAY: You have so much to say to each other, the conversation never stops.

THE REALITY: Because you’re as smitten as a kitten with a catnip mitten, every single thing they say seems deceptively fascinating. Any friends or family who dare to point out the reality (i.e. that the object of your desire is in fact a little bit dull) will be immediately relocated to an unforgiving blacklist never to be spoken to again. Well, at least not until you get dumped anyway…

Happy Valentine’s Day! X

Sue Wallace from Juice 4 Life

Sue Wallace – Juice Therapist and director of Juice 4 Life

How are you today? I feel great with lots of energy, which I believe is due to my daily diet.

Do you have any medical conditions? Thankfully no, my health is fine – touch wood.

Have you ever broken a bone? No, I have got through to my 50th birthday without breaking any bones fortunately, but I have had some cuts and bruises along the way.

What do you do to keep fit? I spend 30 minutes a day on my cross trainer and rebounder.

What is your diet like? As a former slimming consultant, I understand the importance of a healthy daily diet. Mine is very juicy, thanks to my passion for creating and drinking at least three freshly squeezed fruit and vegetable juices a day.

What can you not resist, much as you try? I do enjoy a glass or two of wine.

How do you treat a cold? Fortunately I have not suffered with a cold for a couple of years. I believe this is due to my daily juice intake, which means I am getting lots of beneficial nutrients and vitamins. I have created a juice recipe that consists of orange, carrots, ginger and Manuka honey that are full of vitamin C – that helps if I feel a bit sniffly.

Are you a pessimist or an optimist? I am an optimist. I have always looked on the bright side. There is always someone that is a lot worse off than you.

Do you sleep well? Yes, very well.

What do you do to escape? I really enjoy a brisk walk along the beach. I love the sound of the sea, it clears my mind. I also enjoy reading and listening to music.

Do you have any phobias? I used to fear flying, but I am now over this since my husband and I moved to Jersey 12 years ago.

Do you smoke? No, I never have.

What do you do that you know is bad for you? Perhaps I may have one too many wines on occasion.

What do you think of alternative remedies? Some are good and some are not. I would always seek or recommend medical guidance from a professional. I personally try to get better using natural remedies. I have done research into the nutritional and health benefits that can be derived from adding natural fruit and vegetables juices to your diet.

MOST people have cold hands at this time of year.

But there are cold hands, and there are Raynaud’s cold hands, and if you’re not sure what that means, then you’re probably not one of the 10 million people in the UK – or one of the 10% of women – thought to suffer from Raynaud’s.

Named after a French doctor in 1862, Raynaud’s is a condition where, when exposed to cold temperatures, blood vessels go into temporary spasm, blocking the flow of blood and causing the affected area to turn white – and then blue then red, as the blood flow finally returns.

“This affected area is most commonly the hands,” explains Dr Auldric Ratajczak, deputy medical director at Nuffield Health. “Some sufferers are affected on their feet too, but this is rarer.”

DIFFERENT TYPES

Generally, it’s people with secondary Raynaud’s who’ll notice their toes undergoing this ‘blanching’ process, while for those with primary Raynaud’s, it tends to be confined to fingers.

And the difference between this secondary and primary?

“It’s simply that primary is when it’s the condition on its own, and not linked to anything else, while secondary is when the Raynaud’s is just one extra symptom from another condition.”

Often, this other condition is an autoimmune disease, like rheumatoid arthritis or lupus, and for that reason, those with secondary Raynaud’s often tend to be diagnosed “later in life”.

“Primary Raynaud’s is more a young women’s disease, though,” Dr Ratajczak notes. “A lot of sufferers are young adults, diagnosed before or around the age of 30.”

CAUSE UNCLEAR

The exact reason some people get Raynaud’s is uncertain. Some experts say the condition is more common in slimmer women, and it’s therefore easy to relate it to less body fat and the poor circulation sometimes associated with that. It’s also sometimes believed that it can run in families, or possibly be linked with poor immune function.

But even if the explanation of exactly why it happens is unclear, exactly what happens is this: “The normal reaction to cold is that the arteries and blood vessels constrict,” say Dr Ratajczak. “Raynaud’s is doing this, but then going too far, and cutting off the oxygenated blood supply.”

In some more extreme cases, this will happen not just when you step out in cold weather, but when you simply sit under air conditioning, or stick your hand in a fridge, or run it under the cold tap.

The thought of your hands turning white every time you grab some milk sounds infuriating enough, but it’s not just the discolouration you have to face with Raynaud’s.

“There can be excruciating pain too,’ says Dr Ratajczak. “Not so much when your hands or feet are cut off from the blood flow, but when you warm up again and the blood returns.”

Warming up the extremities, however, by putting on gloves or running them under warm water, is really the only comeback from an attack of Raynaud’s.

AVOIDING TRIGGERS

So, as with many conditions, right now, the real answer is about prevention rather than cure.

He adds that certain medicines have been linked with an increased severity of Raynaud’s, particularly certain migraine and sinus treatments.

On the flip side, some natural supplements have been found to help people with Raynaud’s, from fish oil and evening primrose oil to ginkgo biloba and ginger.

DO YOU HAVE RAYNAUD’S?

An ‘attack’ of Raynaud’s can last from several minutes to several hours. There are three main stages to look out for:

1. The affected body part turns white, because blood supply is restricted.

2. Lack of oxygen turns the area blue, and this can feel cold and numb.

3. As blood returns at a higher rate than normal, the skin turns red, and will probably be accompanied by tingling or throbbing sensation, and maybe some swelling.

Local life coach Cliff Le Clercq gives this advice:

1. Following the end of a relationship, what is the best way to get someone off your mind?

You can’t will someone you have been close to off your mind just on command. The emotions are raw. Acceptance is the key – which does not mean agreeing with what has happened, it just means coming to terms with and accepting the situation. As denial kicks in, people will often turn themselves inside out trying to become something they are not in order to ‘win back’ the partner.

Some people even become threatening and aggressive, wanting to bully the person back into a situation that they clearly want out of. The truth, however, is we own no one and no one owns us. If someone wants out of a relationship then that is it and the sooner we adjust the sooner the pain subsides.

Many people need help with this adjusting process and seek counselling/therapy to overcome what can be a devastating, destabilising and indescribably painful process. Many people feel and believe that their world has come to an end and are in so much pain that they believe they can never love another again.

This is rarely true but when someone is in that emotional space they are actually experiencing a bereavement – I’ve actually had clients say it would have been easier to accept if the person had died. We can believe that the person we love holds the key to love itself, whereas in fact they were simply the object of our love.

2. On average, how long does it take to fully get over somebody?

Anywhere between an hour and an eternity.

Cliff Le Clercq

3. How long should someone typically wait before getting romantically involved with someone else?

Again, if the person is glad to get out of the relationship this may be very soon. For those who are heartbroken, however, six months to two years on average, although some people flee into another relationship straight away just to have someone to be there for them. This usually goes wrong and the new partner soon realises that the person is just ‘sheltering’.

4. What are the worst things someone can do after having their heart broken?

Looking at photos! Put them away until you are strong enough to deal with it and, even more importantly, get off social media. You do NOT need to know what they are doing. Establish distance between what they are up to and where you are in your head – and please do not fawn, grovel and/or beg even if you feel like it. Your self-respect and dignity will take a hammering and make recovery even harder to rebuild. Similarly, do not drive past their house to see if a light is on or send silly text messages or emails, and don’t just happen to be walking past where they work at finishing time or ask their friends or relatives about them either. Remember, jealousy is a toxic and dangerous emotion: let it out at your peril.

Also never forget, you clearly are lovable or you wouldn’t be in this whole fracas to start with. Most likely, you simply just outgrew each other and it was time to move on. Just because someone no longer wishes to share your journey does not mean there is anything wrong with you. Another and maybe more tender and nurturing lover may soon find you irresistible.

ALTHOUGH it may be hard to believe for those going through it, heartache generally heals over time.

Not so serious heart conditions, however, which can be deeply traumatic for all involved. Thankfully, the Jersey Heart Support Group is on hand to offer support for those battling against cardiac conditions.

First formed in 2011, the JHSG is specifically aimed at offering advice and information to those who have recently left hospital following heart surgery or who have been diagnosed with a heart-related illness or disease.

In addition, the group also holds weekly supervised exercise sessions, free blood pressure testing and other such helpful resources.

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